10/29/09
brisk fall run
There's nothing better than a brisk fall evening run with good people. I met up with my old roomie and one of my current roomies for a 5 mile run last night. Old roomie (Joram) is running the Seattle Half Marathon in a few weeks and wanted someone a little faster than him to help push his pace for a shortish run. So, the rain held off and we met at the Sammamish River trail for a run before dark. A simple 2.5 miles out and then back. We warmed up quickly and chatted easily for the first two miles or so, then kind of fell into a zone and the chatter died off. Until about the last three quarters of a mile, Joram started to push the pace a little- so naturally I had to hold him to it. Even though I already knew we were going to easily negative split the run. And negative we did, but exactly 2 minutes over 2.5 miles. Whee!!! What a great run. Afterwards we sat in the parking lot for a few minutes eating banana-nut muffins that Joram had brought. Jacque and I were grateful for the delish!
10/27/09
finding balance...
How does one find balance in life with all the things going on? I'm single, so I have all the time in the world to do what I want, right? Yet, there never seems enough time for it.
I need to train, but I don't want to shower three times a day. And lately I've discovered a love for sleeping in til the last moment. I want to see friends, but we're so spread out in our locations. I want to see that guy... but he's so hot and cold and last minute, but plan ahead... a mess in my brain. I want to be the best triathlete I can be, but don't want to obsess over it. I feel like when I really have dedicated myself to my training, that's all I become. A triathlete. That's all people ask me about. That's all I spend my time doing. I become one dimensional. And that has apparently ruined what I thought was going to be a relationship that would last forever.
Or is that what ruined it? Was that just the excuse given by someone who is so scared of how great things could be because of the people in his past that he just ran away. I'm nothing like them. Or so I've been told. Is he so scared because there's potential for really getting hurt. I'm petrified. I care about him so much, he can definitely hurt me badly. And has. And yet, I return. He's given no real reason why not. Only ideas of why it would be so great and so perfect. Is it just a show? Things he says that he knows will make me happy, make me think, make me wish... so that I stick around... put on the back burner... waiting..... It's hard to believe that. It's been nearly five years since our first date. Yes, I found an old journal and found entries about him. Call it sad, pathetic, or whatever you will. But, even back then I seemed to know this was going to be a long-term something, a whatever it turned out to be. Do I wait? Am I imagining the progression? The words that spilled out of his mouth a few weeks ago to my friends "who would have thought I'd fall in love with a girl with the same name as cheese?" Is it because I haven't actually put it into words exactly how I've felt. I've tried to let my actions do all the talking. The discussion of how we would be married for a year before kids, that I'd need a bigger car to drive them around, how we'd save and retire early.... all topics brought up by him. If this is just a game, it's the cruelest game ever.
I need to train, but I don't want to shower three times a day. And lately I've discovered a love for sleeping in til the last moment. I want to see friends, but we're so spread out in our locations. I want to see that guy... but he's so hot and cold and last minute, but plan ahead... a mess in my brain. I want to be the best triathlete I can be, but don't want to obsess over it. I feel like when I really have dedicated myself to my training, that's all I become. A triathlete. That's all people ask me about. That's all I spend my time doing. I become one dimensional. And that has apparently ruined what I thought was going to be a relationship that would last forever.
Or is that what ruined it? Was that just the excuse given by someone who is so scared of how great things could be because of the people in his past that he just ran away. I'm nothing like them. Or so I've been told. Is he so scared because there's potential for really getting hurt. I'm petrified. I care about him so much, he can definitely hurt me badly. And has. And yet, I return. He's given no real reason why not. Only ideas of why it would be so great and so perfect. Is it just a show? Things he says that he knows will make me happy, make me think, make me wish... so that I stick around... put on the back burner... waiting..... It's hard to believe that. It's been nearly five years since our first date. Yes, I found an old journal and found entries about him. Call it sad, pathetic, or whatever you will. But, even back then I seemed to know this was going to be a long-term something, a whatever it turned out to be. Do I wait? Am I imagining the progression? The words that spilled out of his mouth a few weeks ago to my friends "who would have thought I'd fall in love with a girl with the same name as cheese?" Is it because I haven't actually put it into words exactly how I've felt. I've tried to let my actions do all the talking. The discussion of how we would be married for a year before kids, that I'd need a bigger car to drive them around, how we'd save and retire early.... all topics brought up by him. If this is just a game, it's the cruelest game ever.
10/21/09
it was bound to happen...
I've been what one might consider a "distance runner" since probably fall 2005. About 4 years now. But I've always hopped on the treadmill for 1 to 5 miles since late high school. Running isn't exactly new to me. I've done sports my whole life that usually involved some sort of running, sprinting, jumping or gracefulness.
Last night I decided to go to the gym at work, get in a couple miles on the treadmill and then go home and ride my bike on the trainer for a bit. The weather has been terrible, but I'm in my off-season so I'm taking full advantage of being able to plan my workouts last minute and do exactly what I like.
So, I'm running along on the treadmill at about an 8:30 mile pace, nothing too speedy, but quick enough for me. Jacque is on the treadmill to my right and another guy is two down on my left. And four other people are engaged in various activity around the small gym. Jacque hops off the treadmill to get some water and I continue watching the History channel. An oh so riveting program about Titan (one of Saturn's moons) and their liquid is really methane gas due to the cold etc, etc. Seasons last 7 years, lakes form, etc.... I was actually pretty interested in it. Until out of nowhere... CRASH, THUMP, BOOM, SPLAT Somehow! I tripped and went down and was flung off the treadmill into the wall behind me. And NO ONE SAW!!! I'm still not sure how it happened. I asked the Guard Station to pull the tape for me, so hopefully they can do that. I have a small burn on my left knee and hit just above my left eye pretty good on something. Luckily no black eye- although that would have been a great story.
And what do I do after this all happens? Jump up, give a gymnastics salute and call out "I'm okay! I'm okay!! Did anyone see that???" Damn, no one did, but they sure are laughing at me! I got back on and walked for a few minutes and then started running, at which point I was laughing so hard I almost did it again. I was done.
Brilliant, Bri, Brilliant!
Last night I decided to go to the gym at work, get in a couple miles on the treadmill and then go home and ride my bike on the trainer for a bit. The weather has been terrible, but I'm in my off-season so I'm taking full advantage of being able to plan my workouts last minute and do exactly what I like.
So, I'm running along on the treadmill at about an 8:30 mile pace, nothing too speedy, but quick enough for me. Jacque is on the treadmill to my right and another guy is two down on my left. And four other people are engaged in various activity around the small gym. Jacque hops off the treadmill to get some water and I continue watching the History channel. An oh so riveting program about Titan (one of Saturn's moons) and their liquid is really methane gas due to the cold etc, etc. Seasons last 7 years, lakes form, etc.... I was actually pretty interested in it. Until out of nowhere... CRASH, THUMP, BOOM, SPLAT Somehow! I tripped and went down and was flung off the treadmill into the wall behind me. And NO ONE SAW!!! I'm still not sure how it happened. I asked the Guard Station to pull the tape for me, so hopefully they can do that. I have a small burn on my left knee and hit just above my left eye pretty good on something. Luckily no black eye- although that would have been a great story.
And what do I do after this all happens? Jump up, give a gymnastics salute and call out "I'm okay! I'm okay!! Did anyone see that???" Damn, no one did, but they sure are laughing at me! I got back on and walked for a few minutes and then started running, at which point I was laughing so hard I almost did it again. I was done.
Brilliant, Bri, Brilliant!
10/19/09
not sure what to think...
I have so many thoughts spinning round in my head, I'm just not sure what to do with them. Where to even start!
The last couple weekends have been pretty fabulous. Yet, equally confusing.
I've decided not to run the Seattle Half Marathon at the end of November. I think this is for the best. I'm taking some time for me. And going to the gym (or not going) with no real plan in mind. No actual training schedule that MUST be followed. I'm enjoying deciding at the last moment if I want to go for a run, or sit on my bike trainer and spin. I'm enjoying pizza and buckeyes. And sleep. Oh, I am really enjoying sleep. I've never slept this much in my life. Or wanted to sleep this much. I don't even want to drag myself out of bed in the mornings. It's not only that I don't want to do to work (because I don't) but I just want to enjoy doing nothing. And particularly because the company of friends I've been enjoying doing nothing with has been great!
I'm also trying to work on a relationship. I'm not sure it's even a "relationship" but more my interactions with someone. Someone who, the night I got back from Cali, after a few beers started telling people why I'd be such a great wife- and then naming our children. And the following weekend- after a wonderful evening at a comedy show and then some Wii and beers decides to tell me he needs to buy me a bigger vehicle to handle the rain. And the babies. I don't mind all this talk, in fact, I enjoy it. I just wish that he would just say "This is it. Let's do this. Let's be together and see how happy we can be. I know it's scary, because I know how badly we could hurt eachother because we care so much... but let's take that chance" And it will be incredible. Because we ARE so good together. Because we do care so much. It's so hard, because when we do spend time together, alone or with people, he does treat me like his girlfriend. Calls me "baby" and "honey" and holds my hand and kisses me.... for an outsider to see this they would think we were definitely together! Mixed signals. I'm trying to find that perfect balance of showing him how much I care and want to spend time with him, and not being too needy and overbearing. And all I really want right now is go to sushi this week with him.
The last couple weekends have been pretty fabulous. Yet, equally confusing.
I've decided not to run the Seattle Half Marathon at the end of November. I think this is for the best. I'm taking some time for me. And going to the gym (or not going) with no real plan in mind. No actual training schedule that MUST be followed. I'm enjoying deciding at the last moment if I want to go for a run, or sit on my bike trainer and spin. I'm enjoying pizza and buckeyes. And sleep. Oh, I am really enjoying sleep. I've never slept this much in my life. Or wanted to sleep this much. I don't even want to drag myself out of bed in the mornings. It's not only that I don't want to do to work (because I don't) but I just want to enjoy doing nothing. And particularly because the company of friends I've been enjoying doing nothing with has been great!
I'm also trying to work on a relationship. I'm not sure it's even a "relationship" but more my interactions with someone. Someone who, the night I got back from Cali, after a few beers started telling people why I'd be such a great wife- and then naming our children. And the following weekend- after a wonderful evening at a comedy show and then some Wii and beers decides to tell me he needs to buy me a bigger vehicle to handle the rain. And the babies. I don't mind all this talk, in fact, I enjoy it. I just wish that he would just say "This is it. Let's do this. Let's be together and see how happy we can be. I know it's scary, because I know how badly we could hurt eachother because we care so much... but let's take that chance" And it will be incredible. Because we ARE so good together. Because we do care so much. It's so hard, because when we do spend time together, alone or with people, he does treat me like his girlfriend. Calls me "baby" and "honey" and holds my hand and kisses me.... for an outsider to see this they would think we were definitely together! Mixed signals. I'm trying to find that perfect balance of showing him how much I care and want to spend time with him, and not being too needy and overbearing. And all I really want right now is go to sushi this week with him.
10/8/09
Miss me?
It's a simple question really. Not unexpected after someone asks your roommate where you are and then texts asking the same two days later. Why can't he just admit that yes, sometimes he misses me, and obviously has been thinking about me.
Anyway. I didn't run yet today. I haven't exactly been an angel on the diet and hydration. Been to BK twice, Del Taco once and haven't actually had a real meal today. However, I am laying on the beach getting some vitamin D. Which will probably wind up as a burn. I don't really care right now though. I'm in SoCal clearing my head! Or trying to anyway. Things keep sneaking back in. If I were a good triathlete I'd be running along the beach right now. But as I've run near 100 miles along this beach, I will settle for staying put and trying not to get attacked by a seagull.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
10/6/09
love the new shoes!
Jacque and I did a short trail run last night (just under three miles) and I'm so glad we did. Mondays are typically my "off" days but I was on a plane for part of today and did not get a workout in, nor much movement in general. In fact, I'm eating Del Taco and gummy bears for dinner. Horrible!
Anyway, I think Jacque is a convert now too. It's definitely even better running with someone else. Just enough chatting to keep from getting too bored, but little enough that the sounds were primarily the crunching of leaves and twigs under out feet and our breathing. And the ocassional yelp as one of slipped or tripped.
I'm in SoCal right now. For the past four hours. All I've done is pick up the rental car, check into the hotel, drive all over while the sun was setting trying to find a place to eat. There are millions of places but I didn't want to break my budget on the first night, or go somewhere that I would feel totally awkward dining by myself. So, I got fast food to-go and came back to the hotel to watch 90210 and Biggest Loser. Judge me!
Tomorrow I plan on getting in a run early and then trying to meet up with my cousins for a bit. I haven't seen any of them in years even though I'm in Cali once a year. Oh, Cali driving. The land of the U-turn.
Right now I'm trying to decide if I want to meet up with some friends for a beer @ 10, or get to bed and relax and get up early.
Anyway, I think Jacque is a convert now too. It's definitely even better running with someone else. Just enough chatting to keep from getting too bored, but little enough that the sounds were primarily the crunching of leaves and twigs under out feet and our breathing. And the ocassional yelp as one of slipped or tripped.
I'm in SoCal right now. For the past four hours. All I've done is pick up the rental car, check into the hotel, drive all over while the sun was setting trying to find a place to eat. There are millions of places but I didn't want to break my budget on the first night, or go somewhere that I would feel totally awkward dining by myself. So, I got fast food to-go and came back to the hotel to watch 90210 and Biggest Loser. Judge me!
Tomorrow I plan on getting in a run early and then trying to meet up with my cousins for a bit. I haven't seen any of them in years even though I'm in Cali once a year. Oh, Cali driving. The land of the U-turn.
Right now I'm trying to decide if I want to meet up with some friends for a beer @ 10, or get to bed and relax and get up early.
10/5/09
to the trails....
I think I've mentioned before my new love of trail running. I think I need to mention it again, just to really drill it in how much I LOVE IT!!!! Jacque and I bought new trail shoes this weekend (mine happen to be Mariner's turquoise and when I wore them to the game that night I got lots of compliments!) Anyway, we're actually going to use them for their designed purpose tonight and do some running out at the Paradise Lake trails. Hmm. Should probably try to hydrate some before then. Coffee and cherry coke have been my beverages today. Just because tri season is over doesn't mean I can totally slack! But alas, Coca Cola is my bestest friend right now. Mmmm, sugar!
And after the trail running, home to find my bikini for my vacation! Oooh, somewhere warm. That was a hint!
And after the trail running, home to find my bikini for my vacation! Oooh, somewhere warm. That was a hint!
vacation!!
Today is my Monday, and my Friday!! That's right I have the remaining four work days of this week off, as well as Monday next week. You can imagine how excited I am. No real plans. Except not to in the the area of the Greater Puget Sound area. I'm sure I'll post from my "far-off" destination. But, I'm going alone with nothing in mind except to relax. Oh, and run of course!
Hmm, maybe I should see if they have a race this Saturday at my destination. Of course, I'm coming home that afternoon, so it'll have to be a short one.
Hmm, maybe I should see if they have a race this Saturday at my destination. Of course, I'm coming home that afternoon, so it'll have to be a short one.
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